Frozen: Rising Crust

I seldom have vegetables on my pizza. Hold on, check that—I’ve never had vegetables on my pizza, which dates back as far as I can recall. But it was a family rule that during every meal, we all had to have a full portion of whatever was being served* and to try and evade this was pointless. I spent a few after-dinners staring down a room-temp pile of cooked spinach leafs, watching in horror as gravity pulled the expanding pool of juices onto my otherwise empty plate. I’ve never been to a therapist, but if I did, I know this would be our main talking point. In time, I learned that best results were achieved by simply getting the veggies out of the way first.

So, have you noticed the trend in which pizza experiences have been reviewed so far? These are essentially the vegetables of the pizza world, and it’s going to last just a bit longer before we get to the really good stuff. The rising-crust frozen pizza craze started in the mid-1990s, and it was indeed, pretty seductive at the time.

It took me several years before I realized that I was being hoodwinked, that Freschetta and DiGiorno were similar in many ways to actual pizza, only with 400% more bread.

These products had their heyday in our household, but they’re really no longer part of the rotation. We had fun, we had some laughs, but it’s over. Sidenote: I googled “Freschetta” to find a photo for this post since I didn’t have one of my own, and the fourth listing in my search tab was “Freschetta/Timberwolves.” See Post #80.